Tuesday, 26 April 2011

an unwritten letter.

I hate how much I want you. I hate the awkwardness I feel when i'm around you, but being around you gives me hope that you will glance over and realise I'm the one for you.

sometimes I wish that I could feel nothing for you, empty, at least that way there wouldn't be this horrible feeling consuming me, instead in the back of my mind, you are always there.

One night, one amazing memory has made me fall so deeply for you. this memory is so perfect I am beginning to wonder if it was real. 

I honestly believed, that you felt the same. I thought that everything was okay, that you felt this crazy horrible agony I feel daily, too.

But you don't and there is nothing I can do, but try and not feel the way I do for you.

Mostly I wish I was enough for you.

I wish the fairytale in my head was true.

I wish one day you will wake up and you will love me. 

but I'm beginning to realise fairy tales don't exist. 

You chose her. 

I wish i could let you go, but I don't want to. 

One day I hope I can be with you again. even for a moment. So that i can create a new memory and know it was true.
"How can you say goodbye to someone when they had you at hello?"
"OK, Here it is. Your choice, it's simple. Her or me. And I'm sure she's really great. But Derek...I love you. In a really, really big...pretend to like your taste in music. Let you eat the last piece of cheesecake. Hold a radio over my head outside your bedroom window. Unfortunate way that also makes me hate you...love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me." - Meredith Grey
"Michael's chasing Kimmy? 

You're chasing Michael? 

Who's chasing you... nobody, get it? There's your answer. It's Kimmy. " 

- My best friends Wedding

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